Much Life Suffocating
by No Wishing on the Never Star
Summary: She felt him roughly push her panties away, attacking her neck with furious bites as he took her without her consent. He pushed her up against the wall, he poured all his hatred into her. Her only thought: Where's Olivia? AO


_Title: _Much Like Suffocating  
_Summary: _She felt him roughly push her panties away, attacking her neck with furious bites as he took her without her consent. He pushed her up against the wall, he poured all his hatred into her, filling her with an umistakable self-loathing. If only Olivia was here, she thought. Where is my Detective? (AO)  
_Genre: _Drama / Hurt / Comfort  
_Rating: _Rated M for violence and a rape scene or two  
_Disclaimer: _If it sounds familiar, then it doesn't belong to me. I've made up a few characters, but other than that, it all belongs to Dick Wolf.

* * *

_**When she felt his intruding presence near her, she strayed away quickly. . .**_

She was putting files away in the filing cabinent when she heard her open door click closed. She turned her head and saw him lock her office door. She turned back around, not facing him anymore, and whispered to herself, "It's going to be okay. He won't hurt me, he just wants to talk. . ."

But, of course, the only thing he had to say was:

_"I'll give you what you really want, you little dyke."_

He closed the blinds, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Everybody had gone home. It was about midnight and she was burning the midnight oil to get the last case of the week finished before it went to trial. Of course she would've gone straight home if she'd known he was going to be here, if she was going to be alone with a man who scared her so much.

He rushed over to her, pinning her against the freezing cold wall beside the filing cabinent. He unzipped his trousers with one free hand, smiling smugly up at her. Her terrified expression fueled his desires dramatically.

_"Scream bitch, and I'll make sure you will never be able to walk again."_

She remained silent, letting him finish. She looked away as best as she could, looking toward the door, hoping for someone to walk in and catch him in the act of raping her. She knew what to do, how to handle this. She'd been raped before, by her uncle, her mother's brother when she was a little girl.

If you screamed, either in pain or for help, they cut you with knives they fished from their pockets, burned you with their cigarettes that were left burning in the ashtray, and raped you more harder. He raped her so hard, making her bleed for days afterwards. Good thing she never wore shorts or skirts when she was little; having to explain the bruises, burns, and cuts that were left on her thighs every time he decided to get frisky would've been hard. She had only been five when this started. He raped her, molested her, and hurt her until she turned fifteen, when she hit puberty. He no longer saw a little, vulnerable girl, instead his eyes filled with visions of a young woman and it turned him off. It repulsed him.

He was suffocating her. Suffocating her with his mouth. He shoved his tongue down her throat while he drew her skirt and panties down her long legs. She began to breathe more harder and erractically, and he mis-took it for pleasure.

He gripped her shoulders, his mouth leaving hers, and threw her against the wall again for good measure. He smiled at the low _thud_ her small frame made when her back connected with the brick wall.

_"You need a MAN, not a WOMAN!"_

He used his advantage and lifted her up, back still against the wall, so that her feet no longer touched the cold ground. He was so strong, she would never be able to fight back, she was absolutely sure about that. Her small body probably wouldn't even be able to move him an inch, he was that heavier than her.

_"I'll show you a better time than she ever could."_

He thrusted into her, hard, muffling her low cries of pain with his mouth. She felt like she was a little girl again... being raped by her uncle, but instead, it was a co-worker taking his place.

She kept her eyes closed, trying to imagine she was somewhere else, trying to imagine she was in her lover's arms. She tried, in vain, to imagine that sense of safety and security.

Suddenly she heard the door being unlocked by the key she had given her lover. The door _whooshed _open and a shocked Olivia stood there, immediately jumping into action. He quickly backed away from the now crying Alex, only to turn around to face Olivia's speedy form tackle him to the cold ground. She straddled his torso and delievered a severe shock of punches to his face. By the time she was done beating him up, he was unconscious, lying limp and bloody on the floor.

Olivia looked up at Alex, whom, by that time, had crumpled to the floor, completely naked and frightened. Olivia's red haze immediately dissolved as she took her trembling girlfriend into her arms, trying to comfort the blonde. Alex buried her face into Olivia's chest, letting Olivia wrap her arms around her small frame, enveloping her in a loving embrace complete with undeniable security and safety.

* * *

He was a young man of about twenty-five, fresh out of college. His head was adorned with a simple crew cut of brown hair and a rich, exotic tan covered his moderately chiseled, fit surfer's body. Covering his six pack was a crisp, clean tee-shirt, which bore the name of a prestigous law firm located in his native state, California. 

He had intense grey-blue eyes; the colour of mechanical, non human steel. His heated, unwelcomed stare burned holes into her back when she turned away from him, his gaze eventually traveling to the soft curves of her backside. He was always smiling smugly when he saw her, like she was some espensive possession of his that he had to work his ass off to get.

She would've slapped that leering, lazy grin off of his stupid face if it wouldn't have caused their boss to rethink her professionalism, even if she was provoked profusely by this little... She didn't want her job jeopardized, but lately avoiding him was becoming a balancing act.

She was involved with someone already. Why couldn't he see that? She had already told him that she had a significant other to go home to every night, but he wouldn't stop. His harassment would probably happen more often if she revealed the truth; her significant other was another woman, and not a man.

Couldn't he feel her tense up automatically when he touched the small of her back when he brushed past her?

When she cringed as soon as he blatantly studied her... assets with his unalluring, cold eyes, instead of looking at her face?

She was tired of having to avoid walking past his office to get to hers by slipping stealthily down the hallway.

She prosecuted sex crimes for fuck's sake, and she couldn't delve into her better judgement and find the courage to face him and expose him for what he truly was before he raped someone... else. She needed to grab this problem by the horns before it avalanched into a more serious, bigger mess.

_**When I tried to speak out, it felt like no one could hear me.**_

Lucky for her, she no longer had to deal with him. He was dead.

After he had received that extreme beating from Olivia, he was taken into the hospital completely unconscious. He had died a month later, due to heart complications. He had gone into cardiac arrest and had not been able to be revived.

His face no longer haunted her once pleasant dreams. She was rid of him, she was rid of her uncle for good, too. He had been dead for quite some years, but he still hurt her in her dreams, but not anymore. She took over.

She stood in the cemetery, holding Olivia's hand. _Olivia gives me strength, power, and safety, _Alex thought. _If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been going to counseling. Lord knows I need it. _

For the first time since she had been raped the first time, by her uncle, she had told a significant other that she loved them... and meant it.

"I love you, Olivia."

Olivia looked over at Alex and traced circles on her hand with her thumb, "I love you too, babe. I love you too." And with that, Olivia pulled Alex into a hug, keeping her warm from the wind bustling past the couple.

"Here lies Elliot Stabler. The fucking rapist," Alex gruffed.

* * *

This is a ONE-SHOT ONLY. Review please. Thanks! Oh, by the way, I changed Elliot's age and profession, oh and his native state! Lol, in case you didn't get it: Elliot was Alex's rapist, he was a prosecuting lawyer, one of Alex's fellow co-workers instead of Olivia's partner. 


End file.
